2013 – Week 12
We are officially three quarters of the way through the 2013 GCCGL if you can believe that! Only 5 weeks left! That’s right, 5 weeks not 4). The GCCGL commissioner’s office has decided to extend the season to a 17th week with the 18th week as the rainout week for the final scramble. We used to have 18 weeks prior to this season and made the decision to cut a couple of weeks due to the darkness issues we’ve run into in the past. However, given our new circumstances with our new tee times and schedule, we think we can easily go back to a 17 week schedule leaving the 18th week as a rainout date. More golf can only be a good thing!
It was a bizarro week starting with Spring type weather in mid-July. We had perfect attendance again this week thanks to four subs. A big thank you to Dominik, Number 2, Bleeker and Silent H. The attendance for the league has been extraordinary once again this season. We currently stand at a 97.3% reliability rate. Very impressive.
Bizarro Week
What a bizarre week. We had some great scores like Big Ed shooting PAR! Two birdies, two bogies and the rest pars. We also had Goldie with the sprained ankle who wasn’t even supposed to play shoot a 39! The only other golfer to break 40 this week. Unfortunately he was matched up against Big Ed! It’s not very often you shoot a 39 (4 under your HC) and loose BIG! Timing is everything. On the other side of the spectrum, we had some of our steadiest A players score a little higher than normal like Snoodles, Couzin’ Joe, Lipgloss and Big Donkey. There were even some rare displays of anger from CJ and Snoodles with the throwing and beating of some clubs. Guys, come on, is it really the clubs’ fault? We even had one of the more easiest going persons I know, Snoodles, pulling a “Harris” and stomping off the golf course immediately after the round. In case you are wondering, Harris stayed and enjoyed the post-round festivities despite his unusually subpar round. So did Lipgloss for that matter.
The “Fix” is not on
I have been officially accused of attempting to fix the schedule to in order to give my team an advantage. Well, I’m using my power as the “Creator of the GCCGL”, to prove to you that this was not so. “Creator”……I like that better than “Commish”. I feel like Gene Roddenberry, the “creator” of Star Trek. For those who wear only “no-show” socks, Gene Roddenberry wrote and produced Star Trek. He demanded to be called the “Creator” of Star Trek, not the writer or producer. Odd man but a creative genius. By the way, kudos to Lipgloss for coming up with the whole “anklet” vs “no-show” sock bit. I thought it was very funny. I admit, I wear the anklet. It made me wonder though, if Lipgloss says it looks lame for anyone under 45 to wear them, them does he really mean it looks lame for “anyone” who wears them? I immediately went out and purchased a dozen pairs of no-shows.
I went back and looked at the schedule and it WAS correct. It just wasn’t in order. If you would have looked forward to week 14 and 15, those weeks had the remaining schedule planned as normal. Everyone would have been playing the remaining player that they hadn’t yet played against in weeks 14 and 15. That would have meant that everyone would have played each other at least once. Therefore the next match play would be the same schedule as week 2 (the first match play week of the season). The reason I did this was because I didn’t want to spend the extra time revising the schedule because it is a pain in the ***. Actually, Battle Golf probably would have been better (A vs A, B vs B and so on). But NOOOOO…… So I removed all doubt and re-scheduled based on the order from week 2. I hope your happy Cupcake! I’m not changing it back. Please take a look at the new schedule.
To Trade or Not to Trade
Prior to this week’s play, there was an apparent trade brewing that almost came to fruition. The teams SNH and FPS, the players, Lipgloss and Goldie. After hearing about Goldie’s sprained ankle, there was talk about dumping Goldie and his lame ankle for a healthy Lipgloss. Cletus was trying to mastermind the deal which would have also included a box of headbands going to SNH. After much fanfare, cooler heads prevailed and the trade was nixed. It is a good thing for FPS since Lipgloss would have been pitted against Big Ed who shot par. Lipgloss would have lost (9-1).
The Art of getting struck by a golf ball
As Lipgloss mentioned in his “match of the week” segment, I’ve been the lucky recipient of two errant golf shots by Donnie Golf game over the years. What Lipgloss didn’t mention is the details behind how I’ve been hit by golf balls 4 times in my life, all of them in the GCCGL.
Of all of them, only one of them was truly my fault. Former GCCGL member, Mike Bush, struck a laser shot directly into my lower back. It was hit so hard, it left the word “Noodle” tattooed on my lower back. How embarrassing, I had to walk around for a week with a …..you know what stamp. It was my fault. I made the regrettable decision to walk to my ball in front of Mike’s. It wasn’t directly in front, but far enough to the right to feel relatively safe. But as I learned, there really is no safe haven when it comes to a D Player’s approach shot. Never again. Donnie Golf Game hit one of his patented benders on Willows 1 which tracked like a missile right towards me and smashed my leg just above my ankle while I was on the tee on #2! That one hurt the most and left, by far, the worst mark. No one yelled FORE until it was too late. Last season, I was struck by a Fausz shot. This one was the strangest. We were all up on the green and he was just off. All he had to do was a little pitch and putt but he bladed it and smacked it in my direction. This was the least hardest hit ball of all of them. As a matter of fact, that was more of a love tap compared to the rest of them. I shouldn’t even count it. As for Don’s second ball hitting me, I don’t even remember it any more other than I know he hit me twice. Maybe it hit me on the noggin and that’s why I can’t remember it. I do not harbor any hard feelings to those who’ve used me as a practice range target. I know it wasn’t intentional…….I think. There are 5 weeks left this season and I have not been struck yet. The odds are in my favor. Cletus, how about a wager?
Lipgloss found this funny and wondered how this could happen since most folks play golf their entire lives and NEVER get struck by a golf ball. This got me thinking, what are the odds of one small statured Portuguese man getting hit by a golf ball 4 times. So here it is. Let’s say that a typical course can get off 7 foursomes an hour (spaced 8 minutes apart). That’s 28 golfers per hour. Assuming that most courses can tee off foursomes for 18 holes between 7am – 5pm (10 hours). That would mean 280 golfers per day on one 18 hole golf course. But we know it is rare to be booked 100% of the time so let’s take a more conservative number like 60% which gives us 168 golfers per day. Now these golfers will probably take an average of 90 shots per round which equates to 15,120 shots per day……conservatively speaking. Finally, take this number of shots and multiply it by the average number of times the average golfer plays golf each year. There are all kinds of averages out there, anywhere from 100x to 300x /yr. But I’m going to go with a really conservative number of about 50x per year which turns out to be 756,000. So a guy like me, might have a 1 in a 756,000 or .01322 chance of getting hit by a golf ball each year or in my life time. Remember, I’m an IT geek, not a mathematician so my calculations could be off, but I think I’m close. I guess I’m just lucky.
The big winners this week were #teamname and Free Pork Sandwich who both defeated their opponents (23.5 – 16.5). #teamname was led by super-sub George Remmington, who grabbed 8 points. FPS was led by Matt McLinn….again, who stole 8.5 points. Tiagra Woods and Who’s Your Caddie tied their match (20 – 20). There was no change in the standings as #teamname holds on to a slim 1 point lead over Free Pork Sandwich. Who’s Your Caddie is hanging on only 10.5 point back from the leaders. Everyone else has started to feel the pressure and it is quickly becoming a season of “Haves” and “Have Nots”. The winners of the low net were Ed Petryk (A/B)with a low net of 27 and Troy Bachmann (C/D) with a low net of 28! Really great scores! We hope to see you on the golf course and as always, hit ’em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner
