2024 – Week 5
Believe it or not, we are 1/4 of the way through the 2024 GCCGL season. Time flies when you’re having fun and from what I can tell, everyone is having a pretty good time based on all the post-round activities and libations (except for maybe Jim Allen, we’ll get to that later). I think the newbies are starting to feel their way through this crazy golf league and settle in quite nicely.
As good as the weather conditions, competition and camaraderie have been at the start of the 2024 GCCGL season, we have a very serious problem. We’re only one fourth of the way through the season and I’m already out of blog material. It’s true. Outside of the normal handicap complaints, there hasn’t been any “real” controversy this season. And we all know that controversy fuels the content of this blog. Without it, all you are left with are the musings of some small-statured Portuguese guy with an overly lower handicap that he should have. Sure, there’s been some manufactured propaganda disguised as controversy regarding co-commissioner Cupcake’s “magic subs”, but I’m talking about real, solid undeniable controversy like we witnessed back in 2011 in what has become known as Stooges-gate when co-commissioners Cupcake and Cletus devised a scheme to cook the books in order to get their teams some additional points during a tight race.
Or how about the time on August 12, 2014, when Brian “Scratch” Turnwald made his first appearance in the GCCGL where co-commissioner Lip Gloss conspired to go behind everyone’s back and mysteriously found the “non-registered” sub to fill in and then decided that this sub’s handicap was going to be a 7 for the round. The controversy stemmed because Lip Gloss’ team stood to benefit from this illegal subbing plot.
And who can forget the time when Teflon Cupcake once again, tried to pull a fast one on the league at the beginning of the 2018 GCCGL Season by not following his own rules regarding prompt payment of GCCGL dues prior to the first tee time.
If you don’t know the history of these major controversial events, I highly recommend you setting aside some time, grab a hot cup of coffee and a bear claw and read these posts. One thing you’ll quickly realize is that PW is the only co-commissioner NOT involved in any of these scams! It’s always either one or more of the other co-commissioners! I don’t know what’s going to happen to this league once I decided to retire, but whoever fills in for me, better have the stomach for it!
Speaking of controversy, Tally (a 10 handicap on the Pioneer front) shot a 39 gross? Really? What is happening here? What I’d like to know, what the league would like to know, is how in the world did Tally’s handicap ever get so high to start with? Tally joined the league last season (2023) and has already amassed 6 Low Net wins in just 16 match play events. That’s means he wins low net 38% of the time! He’s taken $105 of the league’s money prizes in 1 and 1/4 seasons and has an 11-3-2 record in his short stint in the GCCGL. That is really impressive…. until you start doing a little digging. Tally started his GCCGL career with a 14 handicap on the Pioneer front. So, the question begs, how did his HC get established? Has Tally improved this much in one year? Did Tally submit a 14 HC to the league, or did he have a little help? It wasn’t long before my investigative juices uncovered yet another potential controversy in the making. Do you know what teams Tally has been on for the first two years of his GCCGL tenure? None other than Jason “Cupcake” Nill. That’s right, Tally has been on Cupcake’s team his first two seasons. Guess who controls the handicaps for the GCCGL? I’m not saying there’s anything nefarious going on here, I’m just saying where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. And for some reason or another, co-commissioner Cupcake seems to always be surrounded by a lot of smoke.
In other news, Jim Allen’s opponents have won low net 3 out of 4 weeks. No wonder poor Jim is about to pop a vein. Hang in there Jim, it will even out. It is a pretty close race for the top 3 teams. There have been 4 lead changes in 5 weeks already this season! Finally, check the latest installment of Cupcake’s Cupboard.
The big winners this week were Party of Fore who notched (23.5) points. They were led by Ollie to grabbed (7.5 pts). The Clubhouse Cowboys were next, they lassoed (23 pts). They were led by Tally who took (7.5 pts). The Low Net winner for (A/B) was Hertzenberg with a low net of (33) and for (C/D) Tally and D’Angelo with a low net of (29). Congratulations to the winners! The Montezuma’s Revenge scramble is this week. This might be my favorite event of the season. If you’ve never played in it, I highly reccomend you do everything you can to make it to the course. It’s a lot of fun. The schedule is set. Good luck everyone. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
