2024 – Week 11
We’ve turned the corner and are officially into the second half of the 2024 GCCGL season. Are you excited? I know I’m excited. I’m so damn excited, I nearly “pooped my pants“. Speaking of pooping pants, did any of you catch last week’s Kreyling Korner? If you didn’t read it, then I’m pretty certain you “heard” it from KK himself, on the 19th hole last Thursday. It was a great blog post, albeit uninformed and ignorant. But great nonetheless. He ended the post with the words, “I pooped my pants“. This was a dig at the over-55 GCCGL members who hit from the Yellow Tees. I think KK called them, the Old Yellers. You see, that’s “funny” because apparently they complain all the time AND they hit from the yellow tees. Oh that Lip Gloss, he’s a clever little turd that one. But I’m afraid he got it wrong once again. I hate to beat a dead horse but the GCCGL masses asked for it, so you’re getting it. It is the official “rebuttal” to last week’s Kreyling Korner.
The first thing I will attempt to explain to KK and all you other pea-brains out there is quite simply this:
When you play against one of our wonderful AARP members, on any given night, the under-55 player hits from the WHITE tees and the senior citizen hits from the YELLOW tees for 9 holes or 100% of the round in order to compensate for the arthritic knees, mass muscle tissue loss and the extra weight being carried from their grandpa bellies or from the extra load in their Depends diapers. However, in the RED, WHITE and BLUE event, both golfers are hitting from the SAME DISTANCE for 6 out of the 9 holes or 66% of the time. Everyone plays from the WHITES and REDS for 6 of 9 holes. I repeat, the old-timers are now playing from the same tees as their younger opponents for 66% of the round. This means that the senior citizen distance advantage just went from 100% to 33%. Now, does that sound “fair” to you? If this is not fair during regular match play, then how is it fair during this event?
Go ahead and take the time to read that last paragraph again. Lip Gloss, feel free to use your finger to follow along and sound out the “big” words.
The second thing is to analyze the results of the 4 matches between the kids and the squids. Let’s see how the matches that included the old geezers turned out with the +2 adjustment.
Almeida/Tally – Almeida got +3 instead of +1. This added 1.5 total points to Almeida. It DID NOT change the match winner.
Nixon/Parvese – Nixon gave +4 instead of +6. This added 1.5 total points to Nixon. It DID NOT change the match winner.
Livermore/Stock – Livermore got +3 instead of +1. It made NO DIFFERENCE in the point distribution. It DID NOT change the match winner.
Allen/Cap – Allen gave +0 instead of giving +2 to Cap. It made NO DIFFERENCE in the point distribution. It DID NOT change the match winner.
The matches were split 2-2 between the young guns and the old farts. Two of the matches benefited the old guys by 1.5 points each and the other two matches it didn’t make one bit of difference AND, none of the matches end result would have changed (WIN/LOSS/TIE). Not the devasting, earth ending, catastrophic results Kreyling and others (yea I’m talking about you Goldie) were expecting, huh?
If we are being honest, when you get down to it, the +2 adjustment should be HIGHER (+3 or more). Think about it. The seniors would normally hit from the “up” tees for all 9 holes during regular match play and with the RWB event, they only get an advantage for 3 holes. And yet, all Cupcake and I heard was complaining from the likes of KK, Goldie, Crowe, and Ethridge (let me make sure I spelled his name correctly). Mike gets very upset when I spell his name wrong. Lip Gloss remarked that the old guys or the Old Yellers, as he quipped, were the big complainers. But I’d argue that it is the other way around. There was no shortage of folks under the age of 55 (and Goldie) complaining all freaking night long and telling Cupcake and PW how the rules should be for the RWB event. We might start calling this group the White Whiners or the Young Yappers or the Bitchin’ Babies or any other name you can think of.
Look, it’s like I tell my wife, “I hate being right all the time“. I do. It’s a curse and it’s exhausting. All I can say is thank God for having another logical, common-sense co-commissioner in Cupcake otherwise us seniors would have been tossed out and left for dead in this wonderful golf league of ours. I’m going to let all of you soak this in and then wait for KK to try and come up with something to rebut the rebuttal. There is no logical rebuttal, but I’m sure he’ll try to manufacture something. I can’t wait for this garbage!
Man, there is SO MUCH to talk about. I took an unofficial poll of the 23 golfers who played in the first annual RED, WHITE and BLUE event and the jury voted 22-1 in favor of RWB! Everyone seemed to love the new event. Everyone except Ollie. It became very obvious that picking the right tees on the right holes was going to be crucial in this event. Let’s take Cupcake for example. He chose the RED tees for Willows #1 and wound up with an 8 on that hole! But he recovered nicely and Par’d the next 7 holes on his way to a big win over Vanilla Gorilla. And how about Jim “Radar” Allen? He took a score of 36 to Willows #9 and inexplicitly didn’t hit from the RED tees but chose the YELLOW. He wound up with an 11 on that hole and it cost him low net and the match. Ouch. I’m sure there were a whole bunch of other stories out there. It seems like this event is a keeper! Glad everyone enjoyed it (except Ollie).
Something needs to be done about Bill “Patient Zero” Nixon. Since he moved up to the old man tees this season, he’s accumulated a 6-1 record and is in the top 5 of every GCCGL statistical category and boasts an average score of 39. AN AVERAGE SCORE OF 39! He has accounted for 34% of his team’s points. His HC is a 2 which seems to be pretty spot on. Nonetheless, something needs to be done about Nixon. I’ll leave it at that.
The only thing I did happen to agree with in last week’s now infamous Kreyling Korner, was that it sure looks like a two-team race unless something drastically happens in the next 9 weeks. It looks like Cupcake’s team, Clubhouse Cowboys and Kreyling’s team, Our D is Better Than Your’s are fighting it out for the coveted GCCGL Championship. It’s been a while since Cupcake tasted the fruits of a GCCGL championship. As a matter of fact, it has been 12 years since Cupcake held a GCCGL trophy in his hands. I believe that is the longest running drought in the GCCGL. KK, on the other hand, is going for his 2nd first-place win in three years. I want to make it clear that a lot can happen in 9 weeks, especially with the Stableford Scramble up next and Pink Ball still left. Remember, the Stableford is the only event that doesn’t have a set number of points you can win. Traditionally, it has been a game changer and we’ve seen some huge movements in the standings as a result of that scramble. Also remember, there is a 3rd prize award, so for you teams in the bottom four, you still have something to play for!
Remember, there is NO GOLF this week, July 4th. Enjoy the break and come back the following week primed and ready for the second half!
Let’s play a game. Who’s the real Cousin Itt?
credit for pic – Crowe
You know what is sad about that joke? More than half of you won’t get it and have no idea who Cousin Itt was? George Bernard Shaw was dead on when he said, “Youth is wasted on the young“.
The big winners this week were Our D is Better Than Your’s who annihilated Draw Shank Redemption (27-13). They were led by Lip Gloss who stole (8.5 pts) against the card. Clubhouse Cowboys stayed in front of the pack by whipping Vanilla Gorillas (25.5-15.5). They were led by Cupcake who took (8.5 pts).
Remember, we are off next week and resume league play on July 11th with the Stableford Scramble. The schedule is set. We hope to see you on the course next week and as always, hit ‘em straight!
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
