2024 – Week 1

Perfect weather and perfect attendance. That had to be the best day “weather-wise” to start the season that we ever had in the 29-year history of the GCCGL. 

The Florida Scramble is in the books! And in typical GCCGL fashion, there were some surprises. The winners were Vanilla Gorillas with a -4. It was an all-around team effort with contributions coming from everyone. While that, in of itself, wasn’t really surprising, the shocker was the team predicated by everyone to win the coveted 2024 GCCGL Championship, Drawshank Redemption, finished dead last! Anything can happen from week-to-week. It is a LONG season. The final scramble results were as follows:

Chad Michels. Calling Chad Michels…. Anyone know who Chad Michels is? I don’t. I think I heard someone say he was Jack Tally’s cousin? We used to have a Cuzin’ Joe in the league, I guess we now have Cuzin’ Chad. He wasn’t on the GCCGL roster on Wednesday night, April 17, 2024. But somehow, he magically appeared right before the scramble and subbed for Brady Gosney. What is going on here? I’ll tell you what’s going on, Co-commissioner Cupcake is going on! That’s right, CC tried to pull a fast one on the league!

Now, before I rip into Co-Commissioner Cupcake, I want to welcome Cuzin’ Chad to the GCCGL! I wish I could have met you to welcome you personally but like I said, I didn’t even know you existed until it was too late. I’m sure Chad is a great guy and that he will be a valuable GCCGL sub this season. 

The reason Chad was a last minute addition to the sub list was because Cupcake needed a sub for his A-Player, Brady Gosney. Apparently, Brady couldn’t find a suitable sub for the scramble, so your “most trustworthy commissioner“, Jason “Cupcake” Nill, went to work. He turned over every stone he could to get someone to fill in for his team. Here’s the question you have to ask yourself, “Would Jason have gone out of his way to pull a magical sub out of his ass for anyone else?” I think we all know the answer to that. How in the world was Cupcake ever voted “most trustworthy commissioner” of the GCCGL? Controversy follows this guy around like a fart in an elevator. Yet, he continues to get away with it while Kurt “Lip Gloss” Kreyling and I wind up taking the brunt of any criticism spewed toward the commissioner’s office. He’s a snake oil salesman disguised as an accountant. Watch your back CC, we are on to you!

Speaking of Cupcake, has anyone noticed the handicaps list? Apparently, Jason thinks he’s funny by changing the gender to Female for all us older guys who have made the decision to move up tees. Um, please leave the jokes to the professionals CC. Don’t try to be funny, it’s embarrassing. Stick to the numbers! You’re good at that.

But Cupcake isn’t all that bad. He did provide some interesting statistics on the Florida Scramble. In the 14-year history of the GCCGL Florida Scramble, there have only been 5 times that all teams finished under par or Even (including 2024). That is how difficult this event is. Great job everyone! Thanks for the stats Cupcake! I guess you aren’t that bad. OK, I’ll give you a pass this time around. Dang! You see what I mean? He did it again! Why can’t we stay mad at this guy? 

Some administrative notes; we have a lot of newbies this season so please remember, the clubhouse rule is not to allow multiple single riding carts in a foursome. So, please get with your foursome prior to your tee time to make sure we don’t piss off the clubhouse. The starters are itching to “catch us” violating this rule. Let’s not give them the satisfaction. Please read the 2024 League Agreement if you haven’t done so already. Also, check your receipt to make sure you are charged properly. I was charged for a cart even though I walked. I didn’t notice it until I was about to throw out my receipt last Thursday night. I’ll have to rectify it next time at the clubhouse.

Finally, HUGE props to the Party of Fore team for the beer! There had to be at least 8 pitchers of beer waiting for everyone for the nineteenth hole. It is customary for the first couple of groups to provide the post-round libations each week and Nixon, Etheridge, Livermore and Srinivasan did NOT disappoint! Vanilla Gorillas was the second group and we didn’t even have to buy a single pitcher of beer. That’s how we do it in the GCCGL!

We move to Match Play this week. The schedule is set. Good luck everyone. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ’em straight!

The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner