2020 – Week Ten

Don’t look now but there are only 8 weeks left in the GCCGL season. The 25^th year anniversary season of the GCCGL will forever be remembered as the COVID season no matter what happens. There’s no way around that. However, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a season with as many changes in the standings as this season has had. The top four teams are all “snoodled” up nice and close together and even the 2020 GCCGL favorite, Cupcake Exotics, are still well within striking distance. It really is shaping up to be one of the best finishes in GCCGL league history……and that is saying something considering this league once held a “drive-off” to decide the league championship after two teams finished tied for first back in 2006!  You can read all about it in the GCCGL History section right HERE. This league truly is whacked!

Not a whole lot happened this week. As far as GCCGL golf weeks go, it was relatively quiet and uneventful. As co-commissioner Lip Gloss likes to mention on his world-famous Kreyling’s Korner blog, PW has had a rough 2020 season so far. Probably one of my worst in the 25 years in this league. And of course, it all culminated last week in a world-class beat down in match play to Swiper after shooting a 60! If that wasn’t bad enough, someone put a humongous, pine tree branch right in the middle of nowhere causing me to crash my cart. As if all of this wasn’t embarrassing enough, that God-forsaken tree branch knocked my prescription eyeglasses off my face, and I proceeded to run over them with my cart. You are probably asking yourself, “What’s the point PW? You already blogged about this last week. Stop your whining you little Portuguese midget and man-up!” The point is that I had to change things up. I had to change something. Clearly, things couldn’t continue the way they were going. So, I made a huge decision last Thursday morning when I woke up. I decided to go back to wearing cargo shorts on Thursdays. Not only that, but I also played without my eyeglasses for the first time that I can remember. The “no-glasses cargo shorts” strategy turned out to be a winning combination! Not only did PW win his match, he won low net with a low net of 29! That NEVER happens, as Lip Gloss likes to mention on his world-famous Kreyling’s Korner blog.

So, I decided to celebrate by going out to Barleycorns (because I was off work the next day). We had a nice night, drinking eating and commemorating. I got home to my family who finally welcomed me in the house with open arms, hugs, and kisses after my match play victory. My youngest daughter proclaiming for all to hear, “Dad, you’ve brought honor back to the Almeida family!” As I’m in the shower, basking in the fresh glow of victory and daydreaming about all the ways I was going to spend the $16.50 low net winnings, I get a text from Cap (my opponent). He screwed up the scorecard. I didn’t shoot a 40 like I had been told. I shot a 44 for a low net of 33. My low net dreams were crushed. Swiper would take low net once again. Curses!! Swiper is swiping all our money!

A word on Swiper, if I may. First, let me be very clear, I like Swiper. He is a good kid. Always cordial and respectful. He’s worked VERY hard on his game and it shows. I’m very happy for him and wish him nothing but the best. That is the honest truth. Swiper is putting together a once-in-a-lifetime season. He’s  Matt McLinn on steroids. For those of you who do not know who Matt “Barry Gibb” McLinn was, he too was a young kid who bravely joined this whacked-out league of ours when he was first learning how to play the game of golf. His handicap was through the roof and suffered through several humiliating rounds in his early days. However, he too started to take lessons and work on his game and promptly exacted his revenge in 2013 on all who pummeled him years before. Check out the numbers below. Mr. McLinn won as many matches in 2013 as he had the previous 3 seasons combined! After his record-breaking 2013 season, his production dropped dramatically after his handicap finally adjusted and he was now on a level playing field with the rest of the league. He became so distraught that he retired from the GCCGL one year after the glory days of his 2013 MVP season.

Matt “Barry Gibb” McLinn GCCGL Statistics

One more thing on Swiper. He’s on pace to shatter the “Versus The League” winning percentage record set by Big Donkey in 2014. No one can deny the similarities between Swiper and Barry Gibb’s GCCGL career paths. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that Swiper was a shorter, reincarnated Barry Gibb in disguise. But there is one small variable that could upset this apple cart for Swiper and his team, China Virus. The World Handicap System (WHS).  Swiper’s HC is adjusting much quicker than the CHS (the Cletus Handicap System). It took one full year for Barry Gibb’s HC to properly adjust whereas Swiper’s is within a couple of strokes of his HC being where it arguably should be. This could mean trouble for league-leading China Virus in the 2nd half of the season. Swiper has accounted for slightly over 30% of China Virus’ match play points. If this drops a few percentage points, then so do the hopes of back-to-back championships for The Assassin and Potter. No pressure Swiper.

The big winners this week were Gout My Fairway 2.0 who won 23 points. They were led by Das Boot and The Politician who both nabbed 7 points each. China Virus continued their winning streak (4 in a row) and took 22.5 points. They were led by Swiper…again, who grabbed another 8 points.

The low net winners were (A/B) Snoodles, Patient Zero and Squirts with a low net 32 and (C/D) Das Boot and Swiper with a low net 32. Congratulations to the winners! We play this week on the Pioneer back. The schedule is set! I hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

PW – GCCGL co—commissioner