2019 – Week 11
You gotta love the PGA Rules Event. What is it about this event that gets in everyone’s head? Is it hitting from the tips? Or perhaps playing the ball down? I think the biggest mental block is having to play a provisional for any out of bounds drives. We had players hit two, three drives at a time. We had players having to go back to the tee and hit their drive after they couldn’t find their drives in the thick rough. This slowed game play significantly. The 9-hole round averaged approximately 3 hours! Whatever it is that makes otherwise good golfers turn into weekend hackers, it makes for an entertaining evening of golf in the GCCGL.
I take back everything I said in last week’s blog post about Swiper’s handicap. Swiper, let me officially apologize right here and now. I don’t know why you play lights out when you are playing against me, but the PGA Rules event has not been good to you so far. Last year you scored a 74 in your first PGA Rules event and this year you posted a 79. That is a rough night and can only be attributed to ever so mystical league affect. Shake it off kid. You are a way better golfer than you think you are and once you get your short game honed, you’ll look back at this and laugh.
In other PGA Rules news, Cupcake lost his drive on hole 15 and had to hit a couple of provisionals. He never did find his first drive and wound up taking a 12 on the hole. THAT’S what this event does to you. Cupcake doesn’t take a 12 on any hole, no one does…except during the PGA Rules event! The funny part of this story is that Syndrome found Cupcake’s ball. That 12 could have easily been a 5 or a 6 but it wasn’t meant to be.
I was matched up against Gobstopper this week. I used to love playing with Gobstopper until he kept calling me Ollie even before we teed off. He continued with his verbal assaults throughout the round and when that didn’t work, he stepped on my ball on 15 as I was getting ready to chip it on the green. Have you ever seen what happens to a ball after Gobstopper steps on it? After I pried it out of the ground with an oversized screwdriver that I just happened to have on me, my golf ball was more oval than round. I didn’t have another ball on me and my cart was all the way on the other side of the green, so I took my sand wedge and proceeded to flop a 30 yarder towards the flagstick. I swear to you, the ball looked more like a whiffle ball in the wind than a golf ball. I’m not saying Gobstopper is “big”, but I did overhear one of the old cart jockeys remark about Gobstopper’s cart being the only golf cart with stretch marks. I should note that we split the hole even after I put my tee shot deep into the crap off the tee. That’s karma.
Finally, check out The Assassin going left-handed to get out of trouble. I love the PGA Rules event!
We’ve all heard of folks having pre-game rituals. But there aren’t many of us that have a regular post-round routine that matches Syndrome’s. After every round, Syndrome swaps out his golf shoes for flip-flops. I’m sure his ongoing battle with gout makes this more of a necessity than ritual, but nonetheless. Then he goes out and orders the same thing every time, a large order of wings, half medium and half garlic and washes it down with more Labatt’s than I can drink in a month. Finally, he goes home, cleans up and then sits down and enjoys a half glass of red wine and a bowl of chocolate chips. It’s a nice life you live Syndrome.
The big winners this week were Gout My Fairway who took 30 points! They were led by Snoodles and Syndrome who both snagged 8 points. They jumped into 3rd place and have suddenly made themselves relevant in the GCCGL standings. They are 18 points out of 2nd place. Wrath of Serkan also had a big week grabbing 25 points. They were led by Goldie who took 7 points. The big losers this week was I’d Tap That who was playing without their spiritual leader, Lip Gloss. They finished with a paltry 12.5 points and have dropped back to 15.5 points out of first place. There is still plenty of time left especially when you consider we have the Pink Ball event coming up next, followed by Battle golf and of course the Best Ball scramble. Anything can happen.
The low net winners were Goldie (A/B) with a low net 34 and Syndrome also with a low net 34. Congratulations to the winners! Remember, this Thursday is July 4th and therefore we have a bye week. We move to the front of the Pioneer when we return on July 11th for the Pink Ball event. If you can’t make it, please give one of our subs a chance to play, however Scramble rules apply!
We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
The Portuguese Warrior – GCCGL co-commissioner
