Corn Beef and Hash
Once again, I find myself writing this blog at 2:30 in the AM and once again, I blame myself. I made the last-minute decision to join some of the guys at BW’s for some beer and wings since I didn’t have to go to work Friday morning. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve gone out after the round and I was starting to get the post-round itch and although I’m paying for it now and for the rest of the day, I’m glad I went. Where else could one experience the scintillating conversation that takes place at these after-hour gatherings? Waffles or pancakes? Waffles seem to have been the majority choice at the table. I myself don’t really eat either. Too many carbs. Nick “Potter” Duer doesn’t like maple syrup so he eats his waffles with butter only, like the wand waving wizard of a man he is. Fascinating. This somehow led to Snoodles stating how Potter reminds him of his wife.
- They both hate maple syrup
- They both LOVE corn beef hash
- They both share the same name (Nick and Nickie)
Captivating discussion if you ask me. Another popular subject that carried over from the clubhouse patio was whether we should go from six teams down to five teams next season due to the lack of sub availability. We have a couple folks below the 69% attendance rate and a few others teetering right on the brink. This enthralling dialog segued nicely to the booming subbing business of Donkey Enterprises, LLC. Subs are at such a premium that business is thriving. As a matter of fact, multiple offers are now coming in each week and cash is magically appearing on Donkey’s desk requesting his services. Things are so good that Donkey Enterprises, LLC is holding their very first job fair this Tuesday (noon) at the back of the GCC building. Interested parties should bring a 58° club, a putter, comfortable shoes and chilled cherry Gatorade (for Big Donkey).
If there was ever going to be a rain out, this would have been the week. We were one of two leagues to show up. The clubhouse loves us because we give them our money rain or shine. And the cart jockeys hate us because we keep them at the course way past their bedtime. Speaking of cart jockeys, I heard Syndrome made a new friend last night. As we were all heading to our cars, a few of us gathered out in front of the clubhouse talking to the last group who, by the way, finished in the dark (more on that later). As we were standing around, one of the younger cart jockeys went up to Syndrome and said to him, “There are only two carts out”. Syndrome looked at the kid and says, “Why are YOU telling me this? I don’t give a ****”. What is it about Syndrome that attracts cart jockeys like flies to dog dookie? Really, what is it? He wasn’t even in a cart this this week, he walked. If I’m a cart jockey and I’m about to approach a bunch of wet, “buzzed”, pissed off golfers and I’m canvasing the crowd, I’m going to single out someone old and feeble like…..Ollie. I’m not going to approach Syndrome who looks like he’ll pull out one of those giant, oversized cartoon mallets out of his golf bag and whack you upside the head leaving you there with your head and body buried with only your two feet sticking up out of the ground.
I’m not sure why I bother with this blog because apparently, no one bothers to read it. I was instructed this week that there were several folks who did not bother to read the Battlegolf rules and therefore could have and most likely cost themselves points. There were at least three chip in’s during Battlegolf this year (Goldenberg, Crowe and Swiper). The rules specifically state:
If at any time, you chip it in the hole from off the green and fringe, regardless of your score on the hole, you GET ALL YOUR LOST CLUBS BACK!
Then there was Syndrome who lost his putter on the second hole but used it on the next hole because his opponent did not physically take the club. The rules specifically state:
You can physically take the club away or just tell your opponent that they are not allowed to use the club and rely upon the honor system.
I’m going to be honest here and admit that I too forgot the rule about chipping in. Oh well. Next time, read the rules!
Getting back to the dark, wet, rainy evening. Like Lip Gloss mentioned earlier in the day in his weekly email to the league, any kind of overcast this time of year will make it tough on the last couple of groups. Daylight is rapidly disappearing and we have to do a better job of speeding up play. If not for yourself, then do it for the guy next to you, your opponent or the group/s behind you. If you hit an errant shot off the tee or from anywhere else, allow yourself no more than 5 minutes (that might even be too long this time of year) to look for your ball. Listen, I get it. It was wet, hot, muggy and dark. I’m not the speediest player in the world either. On days like this past Thursday, the top of my head was like a fountain sprouting sweat profusely which causes me to go through numerous towels, continuous wiping down my head, face, arms and hands. Changing hats, taking them off and back on. Changing gloves. It’s a nightmare man. However, I always have consideration for those around me and behind me and I don’t think I slowed my team up too much. Again, it’s the Portuguese in me. We are kind, considerate, small-statured people. So PLEASE, throw old PW a bone and keep it moving these next two weeks. Thank you!
The big winners this week were The Process who crushed the Hackstreet Boys (24.5-15.5) dropping the Hackstreet Boys out of the money into 4th place. They were led by Syndrome who nabbed 7.5 points. Putter Face defeated Catalina Wine Mixer (22.5-17.5). They were led by super-sub, Cletus, who took 8 points. Donkey’s Disciples won their match against Ballers…Schott Callers (21.5-18.5). They were led by Boot Boy who took 7.5 points. This sets up a huge final match play between first place Donkey’s Disciples and second place Putter Face this week with only 9.5 points separating them.
The low net winners were Scratch (A/B) with a low net 32 and PW (C/D) with a low net 32. Congratulations! We move to the front of the Willows for the last two weeks of the season. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL co-commissioner
