Yabadabadoo Feet
What’s going on with the Pioneer course? I mean come on man. Some of the greens have more bumps and craters than a puberty-ridden teenager. Seriously though, the first two greens are in shambles. Ironically, these were the two best holes for me all night. And then there’s the rough. Holy mother of pearl! The rough was ROUGH! Cupcake lost a ball on the first hole after hitting a respectable iron off the tee which was straight down the middle. We looked and looked for that ball and could not find it. Cupcake wound up finding another ball in the vicinity but it wasn’t his. His ball was later found by the 5th foursome just a couple of feet off the fairway. Unbelievable. It’s bad enough hitting your ball into that ridiculous mixed combination of weeds, clover and a little bit of grass, but does it have to come up to your shins? You know the rough is too high when it tickles your “nether region” during your backswing. Mow the damn grass for Pete’s sake! It’s no coincidence that of the three matches played against the card, all three of them split (5-5). That may be a first in GCCGL history. The thick thatch was the X-factor this week. Maybe this contributed to the slow play once again, who knows. Most of the GCCGL played quickly but the same could not be said for the last two groups. It took the last two foursomes 44 minutes to finish. Yikes!
Foursome (5) took 24 minutes (CJ, Big Donkey, Snoodles, Boot Boy) *
Foursome (6) took 20 minutes (Han Solo, Swiper, Ollie, The Politician)
* – all four players were in carts
Now THAT is some “deliberate play” right there. Unfortunately, that pace will not work out too well over the next couple of weeks. We are losing daylight rapidly folks. Unless we all plan on playing with head lamps or night goggles, I suggest stepping it up just a little. With that said, let’s give some credit where credit is due. Lip Gloss definitely got this week’s tee times right. If those two foursomes had been in the front of the pack this week, there’s no way we would have finished. Speaking of Lip gloss, how about that Kreyling’s Korner this week? That was some good **** right there. It definitely seemed to have ruffled some feathers and set off a barrage of emails back and forth. If only there was a way to leave comments on the blog…..hmm…..if only……
Gout. I wasn’t even really sure what this was. It’s a funny sounding word but there’s nothing funny about it. I’m going to be serious for just a second here and give props to Syndrome. The man played nine holes of golf with gout. This is a really painful condition. So painful that he shouldn’t even be driving a car no less playing golf. In a time where we have GCCGL members blowing off golf for the most insignificant of reasons (cough…Urbano….cough), here comes Syndrome hobbling down the fairway. Sorry El Hefe, you didn’t think you’d skirt by without getting some crap after accumulating a whopping 50% attendance rate, did you? Van Pelt has a higher attendance rate and can’t even put his own socks on. JR, you are a better man than I am….well, at the very least, better than El Hefe.
Now, with that said, let’s be honest. Syndrome doesn’t exactly lead what some would refer to as the healthiest of lifestyles. Beer, bourbon and wings followed by anything fried is the staple of Syndrome’s diet. One could surmise that JR brought this disease upon himself and they probably wouldn’t be wrong. But what is the man supposed to do? He’d have to give up everything that is enjoyable and worth dragging his sorry ass out of bed for in order to keep this debilitating illness under control. Did anyone catch a peek at John’s gout infested feet? Those things looked like Fred Flintstone feet. Looking at that mess gave new meaning to the word “cankles”. I have to admit, looking at those hideous feet made me almost want to go out to Barleycorns. Those sausage toes and muffin top ankles, started to make me hungry.
The big winners this week were Donkey’s Disciples who crushed the Hackstreet Boys (28-12) pretty much sinking all hope for the Hackstreet Boys. As a matter of fact, they are now barely hanging on to third place and are only 2.5 points from falling out of the money. They were led by Captain Obvious who took 8 points. DD had only one player to finish under par (Snoodles), yet they crushed their opponent. Go figure. Putter Face did what they could to stay relevant by defeating The Process (24-16). They were led by Fatone who nabbed 8 points. I’m not even going to comment on the battle for last place between Ballers…Schott Callers and Catalina Wine Mixer. They both suck.
The low net winners were Snoodles (A/B) with a low net 32 and Fusting (C/D) with a low net 33. Congratulations! Battlegolf this week. FYI, there is a Video Library now. It is something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now and I got some time to finally put it together. The link is on the top menu bar near the Photo Album link. I had forgotten how funny some of these were. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
For more information on Gout, please visit GoutEducation.org. Don’t let your feet look like something out of Wes Craven movie.
George Almeida – GCCGL co-commissioner
