2015 – Week 17
The golf gods gave us a glimpse of September in August and the GCCGL benefited. The weather was perfect and so was the turnout, well almost. We had 23 of 24 golfers show up on week 17 after a late scratch at the last second. We missed you Golf Angel! A big thanks to Berkley, Dominik, Watson and Nixon for subbing this week.
As I was approaching the 9th green of the Willows course, I was struck with an overwhelming sense of pride as I witnessed the gallery bustle about. Laughter and smiles were abundant, plenty of cold refreshments were flowing and insults were barraging down upon the unfortunate last few foursomes on the green. There was an extra energy in the air this evening my friends and the crowd was a little extra boisterous. Twenty years ago, a small statured son of a Portuguese immigrant with a severely flawed golf swing took it upon himself to start a little golf league. Twenty years later we have the premiere golf league in the region. Twenty years…..that’s a long time ago. So many things were invented since the GCCGL began play back in 1996 like social media site Facebook and mega website YouTube as well as the Wii game console. New technologies like Bluetooth, Smart phones, high-speed Internet, the iPod and Plasma TV’s. For Pete’s sake, DVD’s were invented during this time period! Hell, when this league was formed, our newest super sub, T. Watson, was drooling and soiling himself on a regular basis. OK, he was 2 years old, but that’s no excuse.
So as I walked up to the green, I was hit with these thoughts as I was trying to line up my putt. There are many people responsible for the success of this league like ex co-commissioner Cletus and active co-commissioners Cupcake and Lip Gloss. But they aren’t the only ones. The many countless current and former GCCGL members and substitutes are what make this league what it is today. Many characters are responsible for providing endless memories and blog material over the years that have shaped the current GCCGL rules, events and policies. Do you ever think of what this league will look like in another 20 years? The next time you’re at the golf course, take a look around at some of the senior leagues. In 20 years many of us will be in our 60’s and 50’s. Even the young bucks would be in their 40’s. Some of the changes would most likely include a few more members added to the Bald Club or the Hair Club for Men depending on your vanity. Handicap accessible golf carts would be the norm. Chances are a good percentage of us would be sporting adult diapers under our cargo shorts. And I don’t even want to think of the fashion faux pas that would drive LG crazy (shin-high socks to cover our age spots). The good news is that we’d be teeing it up from the grey tees. One thing that probably wouldn’t change is the partaking of post-round libations. Who knows what the next 20 years will look like but if they’re only half as fun as the first 20, then it will still be the best league in the region.
Another Cletus Clash ensued on #9 between Cletus and Couzin’ Joe. This is the second such incident this season between these two. The first happened on week 6. It all started with the match between Ollie and Cletus. For some reason, Ollie felt it was necessary to count Cletus’ strokes throughout the night. While it’s not unusual during match play to try and keep tabs of where you stand, it is unusual when you consistently miscalculate each other’s strokes. Ollie’s math skills were a little off and his confusion led to him adding strokes to Cletus’ score and subtracting a couple from his score. I’m sure it was all innocent enough but this was going on through most of the round and Cletus was getting a little annoyed which is ironic since Cletus is the one who’s normally doing the annoying. Moving ahead to the 9th green. As Ollie is putting, Cletus is yelling “noonan” during his backswing. This probably didn’t bother Ollie as he’s cool as a cucumber on the green but this didn’t sit well with Ollie’s teammates in the gallery. So as Cletus was lining up his putt, Couzin’ Joe throws a chunk of four ice cubes stuck together onto the green in the direction of Cletus. The ice hits the green and smashes into pieces close to Cletus. After Cletus’ foursome finishes their round, Cletus climbs up the hill to where CJ was sitting and as he got closer, charged Joe and started poking his finger at Joe’s shoulder. CJ takes offense to that, and with good reason. You don’t know where that finger has been! Jeez! As Cletus is digging his decrepit finger into CJ’s shoulder blade, he’s yelling something to the effect of, “I’m going to haunt you for the rest of the year!” I had to let Cletus know there’s only two weeks left in the season. At any rate, no foul no harm. Just another Cletus moment and make no mistake about it, I’m appreciative of these moments. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Cletus and Syndrome provide a significant portion of the blog material which makes my job that much easier. So THANK YOU! Hopefully CJ and Cletus will kiss and makeup because you never know who your teammates will be next season.
Now for a Syndrome moment (you see what I mean?). It is common knowledge that almost every Thursday night, a bunch of GCCGL participants go to BW’s in Fort Wright for post round libations and food. It’s a bit out of the way for some of us but what the heck, it kind of is Syndrome’s second home, so we all go. However, because it was a beautiful night, we changed it up this week and decided to hit Wings and Rings in Crestview Hills because they have an outside patio AND there’s a Cold Stone Creamery right next store. Regrettably, Syndrome changes his plans and decides give up his weekly visit to BW’s and join the crowd. The problems started right from the beginning. Syndrome was the first to arrive at Wings and Rings and asked the hostess for a table outside for about 6 – 8 people. This seemed to have confused the poor girl and she asked Syndrome to hold on while she asked the manager. Keep in mind that there is barely anyone in the place, inside and outside. Plenty of tables to go around. The young girl comes back and states that she can’t sit the group outside BUT offers Syndrome the next best thing. “How about a table right next to the back door that leads out to the patio, hmm……I’ll even prop the door open for ya, how about that sweetie, will that work?” So at this point, Syndrome, now visibly upset, takes another look at the EMTPY patio as his left eye begins to twitch and asks the girl, why we can’t just sit on the patio. There’s no one out there. Why is this so difficult? She asks Syndrome to hold on again while she checks with the manager….again. “Yea princess, go ask your little manager…” So after about 10 minutes, Syndrome finally gets his table on the patio. Whew, that was a chore. It is at this time that I get there and start hearing about the whole patio fiasco. Now, it’s time to order some cold refreshments. Of course, there’s no Labatt’s beer. Anyone who knows Syndrome, knows he loves Labatt’s beer. I heard he almost bludgeoned a BW’s manager for not stocking Labatt’s back in 2011. You can read about that incident here. While it’s not unusual for folks to have a favorite “go-to” beer, I think it’s a little strange that Syndrome’s choice of beer is Canadian brewed Labatt’s. Now, Canada is known for many things like hockey, ice fishing and Justin Bieber but no one ever thinks of beer when they think of Canada, ‘eh’. Stee-rike….TWO! We are off a bumpy start at Wings and Rings. Now it’s time to order our food. Syndrome is the first to order. He places an order for 10 traditional wings (a 5 and 5 split with two different sauces), another beer (not Labatt’s) and “oh, and give me some of those natural cut fries with that honey…thanks princess”. Oh boy……, it was at this point that things kind of went into slow motion as the poor, unsuspecting waitress gives Syndrome the bad news….”Sorry sir, we are all out of fries”. What? Did I hear that right? We are at a restaurant, how do you run out of fries?! That’s like going to the movies and finding out they’re out of popcorn! “Sorry mister, but we’re out of popcorn, but can I offer you this bag of cauliflower instead?” How does this happen? I know….I know….the manager was too busy making important decisions on whether or not it was OK to sit a party of 8 outside on an empty patio, he forgot to place an order for a bag of freakin’ potatoes! STRIKE THREE! Syndrome is beside himself at this point and has to settle for the Saratoga Chips but it’s not the same. I doubt we’ll see Syndrome within a 10 mile radius of a Buffalo Wings and Rings in the near future anytime soon. It’s a shame too because their wings are pretty decent and the Cool Wasabi sauce is fantastic! Oh and by the way, as Syndrome relentlessly berated the waitress for not having fries, Cold Stone closed for the evening and none of us got our ice cream. It was a nightmare.
We are down to the final two weeks of the season. The Massholes are making a frantic run to finish in the money and have scored 50.5 points in the last two weeks! They are only 14 points behind Roller and Duer for third place after crushing The Big Bang Theory (26 – 14). They were led by Goldie and Gordon who both took 7.5 points. Meanwhile, Roller and Duer narrowly squeaked by first place Offensive Line (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by Potter who grabbed 8 points. Rounding up the evening was last place Back in Black defeating 3rd place Daddy Day Care in a tight one (20.5 – 19.5). They were led by Lip Gloss and The Legend who both scored 6 points apiece. Less than 10 points separate the top three teams. It’s going to be a wild ride.
The winners of the low net were Lip Gloss (A/B) with a low net of 31 and Cupcake (C/D) with a low net of 29. Great scores! Congratulations! We finish up match play this coming week on the front of the Willows. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner
