2013 – Week 2
The weather probably couldn’t have been better for week 2 of the GCCGL and the attendance showed with a perfect turnout thanks to five subs, Seiter, Straub, Hlebovy, Ricke and McNeil. Thanks all!
Unfortunately the same cannot be said about the play. Man, oh Manischewitz! First let’s talk about the slow play. Let me clear up some misnomers. Regardless of what the starter says, the league in front of us was not late to the tee last night. The clubhouse has purposely left 3-4 tee slots in front of them open so that when they do show up, they can go off using a shotgun start. The problem wasn’t that we didn’t tee off on time, we did. The problem was one lousy foursome ahead of the twosome ahead of our first group! They do not understand the concept of ready golf. They take way too long in between shots and they all go to each other’s ball to watch each other’s shot ONE AT A TIME! I mean seriously. These guys are so stupid, it takes them 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes (badabum tsch)! They are so dumb, I overheard one of them buying tickets to Xbox live……sorry for this, I’m just filling space, it was a very slow week…..pun intended!
Sticking with the “slow” theme. I thought you might like a slow golf joke and since a quarter of the league are engineers, even better.
The Engineer at the Golf Course
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, “What’s with these guys? We’ve been waiting for 15 minutes!”
The pastor says, “Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.”
“Say, George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” the doctor asks.
The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.
The group is silent for a moment.
The pastor says, “That’s so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
The doctor says, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer says, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
Just so you know, the first thing I did after my round was head to the clubhouse looking for answers. I spoke to the club pro and manager. He understands our plight and will be speaking with the league commissioner of the league in front of us about his league’s competency’s. Have you noticed that I have not mentioned the league name in front of us in this blog? It’s like Voldemort, in Harry Potter, “Thou shalt not speak his name”. Did I get that right Duer? For those of you who don’t know, our own Nick Duer is a big Harry Potter fan and took some heat from a couple of league members last year prompting the nickname of Potter. Let me just say this, I have also watched all of the Harry Potter movies and I am not ashamed of it. Of course I was with my wife and kids instead of waiting on line at the movie theater with a bunch of friends donning full-on wizard attire and waving magic wands at the midnight showing…….not that there’s anything wrong with that. The reason for not mentioning their name is so that when someone Googles (insert league name here), they don’t wind up on the GCCGL blog reading about why they’re shmucks and how we hate them.
OK, I feel better now. Whew….got that off my chest. Back to golf. If I had one word to describe what I witnessed last night, it would be shocking. Throw in, appalling, horrific, pathetic and visibly unpleasant. No, I’m not talking about Cletus. I’m referring to our overall play including mine! You know it was a rough week when our own, Big Donkey, posted a 50. The last time this happened was way back in 2004, week 14 against a sub for David Hills. Mike shot a 53 that night. Mike didn’t win one single match play in Harris vs The League. That may be a first. One more week of this and then it’s off to the Wonderful World of Oz (the Pioneer Front) where dreams are realized, confidence is boosted and pars are makeable!
The big winners this week were Who’s Your Caddie who defeated #teamname (22.5 – 17.5). They were led by Snoodles who grabbed 8 points. Tiagra Woods beat Free Pork Sandwich (21.5 – 18.5) due to JJ (aka Fluffy) 7.5 points. Moore’s Misfits and Slicers not Hookers tied (20 – 20). The low net winners were Joe Eiser (A/B) with a low net 34. We had a tie between (C/D) players Joe Carrier and David Fausz who both had a low net of 37. Congratulations to the winners!
I am awaiting word from the Kenton County clubhouse about partial credits for the LAST 16 golfers who played in basically complete darkness the last couple of holes. Some players did not even finish. We will get you the details as soon as we get them. Despite the slow play, we hope to see you on the golf course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner
