2015 – Week 14

Good morning my fellow GCCGL members! It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve been able to update the blog. As I recall, the last time I left you, I was somewhat cranky and a bit stressed. I may have offended some of you who are country music lovers. If I did, I apologize. However, you probably will be happy to know that my bad karma came back to haunt me during vacation. More on that later. We had a dry and perfect day this week where 23 of 24 golfers showed up. A big thanks to Lane, Dominik, Bush and Glaser for stepping in and subbing this week. It has been tough to find subs during vacation season. Since it’s been a while, this is going to be an extra-long blog so feel free to stop reading at any time. Right about NOW would probably be a good spot. Here’s a quick recap of the last three weeks.

Week #12
Not much happened other than the terribly wet conditions and Radio beating Cletus in their match. In fact, Radio was so pumped about his performance he began boasting about how he could beat anyone in the league, straight up.  LG had heard enough and took the challenge so we had the first ever 10^th hole playoff, which went pretty much as expected, Radio lost miserably.  For some reason there was no video evidence of this, even with two non-players accompanying their respective player Cletus/Radio and J.J./LG.  Apparently Radio hit a duck hook deep into the woods (probably on Fox Run) and insisted he would find it.  Arguments in sued, Lip Gloss kicked him off the tee box and cranked one down the middle.  Radio hit a “provisional”, this time into the driving range.  Lip Gloss got tired of waiting for the search party so gave him a free drop (in the middle of the fairway).  Not sure how it finished out as one brilliant member said, “why are we waiting for these fools, let’s all leave and go drink beer on the patio”.  So as Radio and Lip Gloss were hoping to finish to a loud and cheering gallery, but instead came into the 18^th green to nothing but the sound of crickets and empty pitchers of beer!

Week #13
The first ever string ball scramble took place and from what I heard, it will be the last.  I don’t think anyone cared for the format as at the end of the day unless teams are sticking approach shots within a foot or so of the hole it really doesn’t change the outcome.  Essentially once you are on the green, the putt is going to be good, unless you really screw up and don’t want to waste the string for the free birdy.  Oh well. There was one bit of controversy in regards to a sub for Syndrome.  J.J. scoured the whole sub list and no one wanted to play and approached the commissioner’s office about using someone who was a 16 on paper but had no scores turned in.  In a moment of weakness (and being buried neck deep in work) LG and CC said they didn’t care and allowed it.  After the round there were confirmations that said sub was definitely not a ringer.  He did however manage to hit one good shot all night and ended up closest to the pin.  Of course Cletus is not happy with this since he claims he was 2^nd on that list and the sub should not be eligible. That’s weak Cletus….even for you. All together now…….YOU ARE NOT A GCCGL CO-COMMISSIONER ANY LONGER!

Week #14
Back and Black’s claim to turn the season around has officially began climbing from 6^th to 4^th place in just one week after pounding the Massholes (23.5 – 16.5). They were led by The Legend who grabbed 7.5 points. They now have a ½ point lead over the Massholes for 4^th place. Meanwhile, the Offensive Line found themselves in a tight one against The Big Bang Theory and squeezed out a victory (21.5 – 18.5). They were led by Syndrome who took 7 points. Finally Daddy Day Care got back into the win column with a narrow victory over Roller and Duer Again (21 – 19). They were led by Cletus who defeated his nemesis Cup Cake in the MOW and stole 6.5 points.

In other news, Seth Brooks finally has a nickname and it is KP (Knee Pee). Unfortunately I do not have the back story to elaborate but a little birdie did send me a picture. However, I have not received permission to publish this disturbing image so it is going to have to wait. Roller and Duer team purchased a fine set of team shirts, I believe this is a league first, featuring a very nice logo which garnered many compliments inside the clubhouse but once again discretion must be exhibited. Kudos to the team though for coming up with the logo. Who knew a group consisting of finance folk, inside sales and an engineer could be so creative? There will be no skunking this season, LG got his first win of the season! Bleaker remains undefeated and still single ladies….. With 5 weeks left, the Offensive Line has a commanding lead. But we do have a hell of a race shaping up between the bottom three teams and 2^nd place up for grabs just fractions of a point separating DDC and R&DA.

Getting back to the “bad karma” for a minute….it seems I paid the price for mocking my distaste of country music during my last blog post. While on vacation, no matter where my family and I sat on the beach, we were serenaded with loud, twangy country music. The first time it happened on day two at the beach. It started off as a quiet and relaxing day but then after about an hour, all of a sudden the sand started shakin’ to the beat of some good ‘ol boy playing a steel guitar and singing about his pickup truck. So I looked over and about 20 – 30 yards over were several guys with ghost-white complexions, huddled in the shade under one of those beach tents wearing their cowboy hats (not joking). They had lugged and set up what seemed like a portable 1,000 watt speaker system on mini-tripods with a 15” subwoofer amp and a portable battery system to power it all up. Seriously? If that wasn’t bad enough, they cranked the sound way up. Even from 30 yards ways I could clearly make out the words to another sad song about the singer’s ex-wife leaving him for his best friend.

So the very next day I figured I’d outsmart them and instead of setting up to the right, I set up way to the left. It should be noted that I usually set up our umbrellas and chairs several hours before anyone gets on the beach. It’s a risk I know, but this way you get to pick out your perfect spot before anyone else. Of course, the danger is that you might get stuck next to Jed Clampett and the Petticoat Junction. Sure enough, by the time we got to our spot, the cowboys from the day before were set up in the same exact spot as they were the day before; far away from ear’s length. Success! That’s right baby….that’s my college degree at work right there! As we began to settle down to what hopefully would be a nice “quiet” beach day…..all of a sudden my “achy breaky” heart sank as this lady just about 10 yards to the left of us turns up the volume to another long playlist of country “muse-ACK”. Here’s the thing, why does everyone who likes country music assume that everyone else around them wants to hear it as well and crank up the volume so loud that everyone within 100 yards of them can hear it too? Listen, I get it……you go to the beach, especially how crowded it was at HHI this July, you have to expect some level of noise such as music, screaming, talking, shark-spotting helicopters, etc. It’s like going to the movies…..you have to know that folks around you are going to be munching popcorn and slurping soda in your ear. If that kind of noise drives you nuts, then you might want to wait for the video. For the record, that stuff doesn’t bother me at all. It’s like white noise to me. The reason why it doesn’t bother me is because it isn’t that loud and disrupting. However, if some jackass comes to the movie theater wearing something like……oh…I don’t know……a big ‘ol cowboy hat and plops down right in front of you and starts talking through the movie, well then there’s going to be a problem. Is it too much to ask for people to show some respect towards one another?

Anyway, there was no way I could sit through this crap again two days in a row. So we did the unthinkable and moved. Why was this unthinkable? Have you ever have to set up three umbrellas in rock hard compacted wet sand on a stifling 96 degree day in the southernmost part of South Carolina? Those of you who have done this know exactly what I mean. I lost a good 5 pounds of water weight twisting and pounding those umbrellas far enough into the sand so that the ocean breeze doesn’t blow them away. It’s a workout and a half man.

So finally, the next morning, I really put on my thinking cap and I decide that I needed to move as far away from the beach access as I can without pissing off my family. Any of you who’ve been to Hilton Head Island most likely have seen the beach umbrella/chair rentals that line the back of the beach. For $50/day you get 1 umbrella and 2 beach chairs. What a rip! Anyway, they line up a bunch of them to the left and right of the beach access path. So the next morning, I headed left of the beach path again, walked to the last beach rental setup and then went another 150 paces further. No one had anything set up in that area but of course it was 6:45am so I was one of the few schmoes on the beach. I set up our umbrellas and beach chairs and walked back to the villa.

When we returned several hours later, I notice a red and white beach tent with the words IU camped about 40 yards to the left of us. I thought to myself…..hmm….Indiana University……this could be trouble. I was right……about 30 minutes into my relaxing oasis, here comes the sound of a Rascal Flatts tune trying to pass off as a country song. I’m officially in hell. Seriously….even country music fans hate these posers. Am I right? So there you have it. My bad karma towards country music came back to bite me in the ass.  I guess I deserved it.

Let’s welcome two new subs; John Hamlin and Tanner Watson. Welcome to the GCCGL gentlemen! I hope you know what your getting yourself into. The low net winners were Golf Witch, LG and KP (A/B) with a low net 31 and Golf Angel and The Legend (C/D) with a low net of 30. Great rounds everyone! We continue match play on the back nine of the Pioneer the next couple of weeks. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner