2013 – Week 13

Hoo-wee! It was a hot one this week! Remarkably we had a full house once again thanks to 5 brave subs (Bleeker, Berkley, Rozell, Lickert and Glaser). They not only braved the heat, they subbed during the first annual GCCGL Battle Golf event. Thanks to everyone for showing up.

As everyone knows, it was excessively hot this past Thursday. The course was in pretty bad shape after one week in this heat wave but we had a great turnout and if I were to measure the success of the first annual GCCGL Battle Golf event based on the post-round atmosphere, I’d say it was a huge success. This may quickly become the staple event of the year for the GCCGL replacing the popular Pot Luck event. We’ll see.

Battle Golf
As many of you know, in the 19 year history of the GCCGL and its 10-point match play scoring system, there has NEVER been a 10 – 0 score. This is quite remarkable when you consider all the matches that have taken place over the years. It just goes to show you how difficult it is to pull off. As a matter of fact, with all things being equal, it may be the toughest feat to accomplish in all of sports. OK…..that’s over the top but then again….so is this league. But if there was ever going to be a 10 – 0 skunking, it would most likely happen during Battle Golf.

There were two 9-1 matches turned in this week. Hollywood defeated Berkley who was subbing for Syndrome. Hollywood shot, hold on to your hats now, 9 UNDER his HC while Nate shot 4 OVER his. That is a 13 shot difference between handicaps which is a recipe for disaster especially when you consider that with each lost point goes another club to your opponent. But Hollywood didn’t really think this whole Battle Golf thing through. As he was approaching the 9th green, he was laboring a little too much for the young lad that he is. Yes, it was HOT, and YES he was walking but when we looked closer, there was a another reason. He had all of Berkley’s clubs in his bag! This is why you must fork over the extra $10 during Battle Golf and rent a cart because you never know what might happen. This is a new event so you can’t blame Hollywood for his little miscalculation. It certainly didn’t seem to hurt his game.

What ocean is that?
The other match was between Gobstopper and the Commish. David vs Goliath. The biggest guy in the league against the smallest guy…..now that Cunningham has decided to retire from the league. Bada-bump ching! Just kidding Brad, I’m just trying to get everyone some ink before the season is over. BTW, we may have a first this season with a GCCGL member not playing in one single match play the entire season. I’d have to go back and check the books but I do not believe this has ever happened. The Commish also defeated Gobstopper 9-1 but what made this one different than the Hollywood-Berkley match was how close it actually came to the first ever 10-0 score.

I started hot (for me) with a bogie, par, par, bogie and it was quickly 4-0 before Gobstopper had a chance to break out his sixth sweat towel. Then came hole #5, the second Par 3. Gobstopper is already out 4 clubs (Pitching Wedge, 7-iron, 3-Wood, Driver). He breaks out one of his 3 Hybrids and hits one to the right side of the green. At that point I made a mental note to myself, I said self, “How can you not notice he has 3 Hybrids in his golf bag!” So I tee off and am just short of the front side of the green. Gobstopper’s first putt is short but he still has a shot for Par. I decided to putt off the fringe and then sink an 8 footer for Par while Troy was 3-putting for a bogie.  This could have been the turning point. The pressure was obviously building now that it was 5-0. It was time to pick another club. I had already made my mind up 10 minutes ago, HYBRID. I’m going to taking nothing but Hybrids from here on out. I take the next two holes and it is now 7-0. Two holes left. with no woods left in the bag, Troy takes his 5-iron, things are not looking too good. I take two clubs to the tee, an iron and a 3-Wood. Troy hits his 5-iron on the fairway. I decide to go for the throat and go with the 3-wood and pulled it into the woods so I punch out to about 100 yards and Troy knocks his second 5-iron on the green! The agony was over, Troy two-putts for par and I make a 6 on the hole. The sigh of relief that is released by Gobstopper was as enormous as the sweat stain growing on the back of his shirt. I’m not kidding, this thing was so big, someone in one of the first two groups yelled out while we were on the 9th green, “Hey Troy, what ocean is that on your back?”. The funniest thing about this whole encounter is that for the first time, Troy gets to pick a club from my bag. I’m thinking, he’s going to ask for his driver back since we are on the 9th hole and it is a Par 5.  He says to me, “Oh no….I want you to feel what it’s like to lose a club! I’m going with this little copper number over here” and he pointed to one of the two drivers in my bag. The other driver in my bag looks pristine, never used so Troy asks me as I’m approaching the tee, “That thing looks brand new, you could return that to the store and they’d take it back. Have you ever used that club?”. My response is, “I guess we’ll find out in about 15 seconds”. I hit one right down the middle over the tree on the left corner of the fairway in perfect shape. I take the 9th hole and the match is over. I have to give Troy credit, he was such a good sport about the whole thing. One of the nicest guys in this league. Check out the picture of our golf bags after the 9th hole. It pretty much says everything.

High Treason!
Too bad I can’t say the same thing about Cletus. After Troy took my “copper” club, he told me that a couple folks were talking strategy about what clubs to take from what players. Cletus, WHO IS ON MY TEAM, told Troy to make sure he takes the “Door Knob” making reference to my driving iron that I keep in my bag. When Troy was deciding what club to take, he selected the club with the copper head thinking it most resembled what Cletus was referring to. Thanks for nothing Cletus. With teammates like you, who needs opponents! You’re dead to me.

Sympathy for Ollie
Now as bad as I felt about taking club after club from Troy, I still did it. Never giving in. Troy earned his 1 point with a Par. On the other side of the spectrum you have the match between Barry Gibb and Ollie where Gibb won 8-2. But it could have been worse. In an inexplicable moment of sympathy, after taking the first four holes, McLinn decides to give Ollie a break and not take any more of his clubs if he wins the hole! What? Isn’t this the whole point of Battle Golf? Weren’t the rules crystal clear? Some might say that Gibb was just being nice. It may have had something to do with Ollie throwing his golf clubs all over the course. Or it may have something to do with Ollie desperately clutching his clubs, not letting go, begging for mercy as Mclinn is taking it away from him. It was like trying to pry a revolver from the dead cold hands of a gunned-downed cowboy in the wild west. It was 6-0 at one point in this match. Who knows what could have happened with 2-3 less clubs in Ollie’s bag. The score could have been 9-1 or maybe even the first 10-0 match in the history of the GCCGL. We’ll never know now. Because of this, the commissioners will meet during the offseason and discuss the possibility of a new McLinn rule that will penalize a player for NOT abiding by the rules of Battle Golf. Congratulations Matt, you’ve made the GCCGL rule book and will forever be ingrained in GCCGL history.

20th Anniversary next season
It has been 19 years since the GCCGL was formed. I cannot believe that we will be entering our 20th year anniversary next season! Long time GCCGL participant and former member Ken Glaser and I were discussing how this league started out as just a group of 16 guys wanting to just go out and play golf once a week and has morphed into this entity that is the GCCGL. We couldn’t even get 16 GCC employees to participate full time so we had to scramble for members just to meet the 16 member minimum required by the golf course. Almost 20 years later we have over 60 participants and could probably field a seventh team if we had enough daylight. Who knows, it might happen some day. I couldn’t have done it without the help of Cupcake and retired co-commissioner Cletus who stepped up many years ago and took on a lot of the responsibilities of managing this league. Of course that same goes for our newest co-commissioner, Lipgloss who is filling in quite nicely. Of course the main reason this league is so successful and fun is because of all our members and substitutes providing years of memories. So thank you to this eclectic group of individuals with thick skin and great a great sense of humor.

Statistics Revision
Please note that the GCCGL statistics database has been revised to reflect Co-Commissioner Cupcake’s results spreadsheet. We’ve broken out actual Individual Points (Member Points) and Sub Points. This has allowed the GCCGL IT team to create a new stat (Point Avg) which displays the players’ point average per match play round. Check it out.

2013 Members Statistics
2013 Substitute Statistics
2013 Point Leaders

The big winners this week were #teamname who pounded Moore’s Misfits (24 – 16). They were led by Hollywood who took 9 points. #teamname remained in first place with a narrow 1.5 point lead over Free Pork Sandwich who defeated Who’s Your Caddie (23.5 – 16.5). They were led by Commish who managed 9 points. This sets up a HUGE match between the 1st place #teamname and 2nd place FPS next week on the back of the Willows. Grab your popcorn, it should be a good one. The other match between Slicers not Hookers and Tiagra Woods was a good one. This one ended in a tie (20 – 20). Check out the Photo Gallery as we uploaded some new pics. Also, please take a look at the poll this week and vote.  The poll apparently did not work when I originally posted the blog, but I fixed it because I’m a genius. Finally, as mentioned, we move to the back of the Willows next week for the next two weeks. We hope to see you on the golf course and as always, hit ’em straight!

George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner

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