2017 – Week 16

First off, let me apologize up front for the short post. Time is not on PW’s side these days. Between running the household (mowing, shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.), driving my adult kids back and forth to work because they refuse to get their license, taking care of Mrs. PW, getting the kids ready to go back to college and working 40+ hours a week, I barely have enough time to sit down and watch Game of Thrones any more. So I’ll continue to do my best to squeeze in a few minutes here and there for the GCCGL blog. 

The 2nd annual PGA Rules Event is in the books and it was another huge success…. depending on what you consider “success”. If success means ridiculously high scores, SLOW play, player meltdowns, winning holes with a score of 9 and players winning low net with ABOVE PAR scores, then HOLY SCHMOLY, it was a HUGE success! You’d think the 2nd PGA Rules event would result in better scores than last season but you’d be wrong. It was worse. Consider the following comparison between last year and this year:

Statistic 2016 2017
Players under par 4 1
Players at par 1 0
Scores of 8 or higher 16 33
Gross scores of 55 or higher 7 9

That number of 33 recorded holes of 8 or higher really stuck out for me. That has to be some sort of record. It was ugly. All of this can only mean one thing, Lip Gloss was right all along! Fluffing does matter! How else can you explain it? Sure, there’s the mental part, but playing the ball down, especially around the green from within 50-60 yards, seemed to be a major contributor to the high scores. I’m sure some of those some of those missed “gimme” putts didn’t help either. There’s something about this event that messes with people’s minds. For example, there was one hole where Cletus approached his ball and noticed some mud on it. So, what does he do? He picks it up and starts cleaning it! Where do you think you are Cletus, the freakin’ laundry mat? What part of, “all balls MUST be PLAYED DOWN” did you not understand? Cletus and Teen Wolf were going at each other all night. It was entertaining…… until it wasn’t. On hole #16, both those guys were in the woods and brush for so long. It was 20 minutes before they finally emerged with a young goat and strumming a banjo. It didn’t stop there, on hole #10, Cousin’ Joe hit his approach shot a little left of the green but safe, as did Big Donkey. Cousin’ Joe couldn’t find his ball anywhere, and complained to Big Donkey that he thinks he lost his ball.

BD:  “Where did you hit it?”
CJ: “Right where you’re standing”
BD: “What were you playing?”
CJ: “A Bridgestone”
BD: “Oh. I tossed it in the woods.”
CJ: “What? Why?”
BD: ”It was scuffed, beat up, worn and it was a Bridgestone. I thought it had been laying there for months!”
 
It didn’t stop there for Big Donkey. After narrowly missing a putt, he nonchalantly swiped at it to tap it in from 3 inches and missed the putt! It wound up costing him low net! This is the kind of stuff that makes the PGA Rules event special. Next year, we have to figure out a way to get at least one GoPro camera in each foursome. We are missing some classic moments.
 
In the much-anticipated match of the week between Potter and Meat, Potter came out on top by 1 point (5.5-4.5). This is Potter’s first victory since the trade. The first couple of groups bought 4 pitchers of beer and it lasted the entire post round gathering. Not only did it last, Cupcake notified me that four of them wound up chugging ¾ of a pitcher just to finish off the beer! See, this is what happens when they stop selling Summer Shandy and only sell that Miller/Bud crap.
 
The big winners this week were Strait to Church who beat up on Just End the Season (27 – 13). They were led by Syndrome who grabbed 8.5 points. ROVER wound up narrowly defeating Birdies, Eagles and a Crowe (21.5 – 18.5). they were led by Boot Boy who managed 7.5 points. Finally, Young Guns and Dropping Deuces finished in a (20 – 20) tie.  STC has solidified their second place standing with their big win. The Young Guns’ lead is shrinking a little bit and is down to 23 points. This is still an insurmountable lead with only 3 match play weeks left and the Best Ball Scramble. However, if that lead gets to under 20, then things can get interesting. Can there be a historic collapse on the horizon?
 
I had planned on posting a video of PW attempting a miracle shot with his ball right up against the base of a tree. Unfortunately, it proved to be too much of a technical challenge for Squirts to get me that video even though I provided him with everything he needed to upload the video easily and painlessly. Maybe next week.
 
Profile Spotlight
Today’s player profile spotlight is Big Donkey. BD has been a long-time GCCGL member since 2003 when he came into the league as a substitute. Since then he’s led his team to 7 GCCGL championships. Most in GCCGL history so far. Because of this, everyone wants to be on the donkey’s team but be careful of what you wish for because he has been known to abruptly trade unsuspecting teammates without so much as blinking an eye. He is a current hall of famer and former co-commissioner (for two weeks). Strangely enough in, I’ve never been on the same team as Big Donkey. Without further ado, here is the player profile for the Big Donkey.
 
History Lesson
This week’s history lesson is easy. We are going back to last year’s inaugural 2016 PGA Rules Event. PW was out of commission due to hernia surgery but I did manage to drive around in a golf cart and “observe”. It made for one of the best blog postings in GCCGL history. You can read all about it HERE if you want.
 
The low net winners this week were Big Donkey and Goldie (A/B) with a low net of 37!. Remember, BD missed a three inch tap in which cost him low net all alone. Tyler Verst (C/D) won low net with a low net round of 31. Great round! Congratulations to the winners. We move to the friendly confines of the Pioneer front for the next two weeks and continue with match play. We hope to see you on the course and as always, hit ‘em straight!
George Almeida – GCCGL Co-Commissioner

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